My family, musings and life in the turtle pond

Posts tagged ‘LGBT’

Could you yell louder, the back row might have missed you outting me.

“Turtle, you could sit on the parenting panel if they don’t show up.”

“Umm, yeah, sure. I don’t good with public speaking though.” I mumbled. I could feel my face turning bright pink. I was still only two months out of hospital after rehabilitation for a head injury.I had a lot of difficulty talking and putting the right words together. I felt okay being in class,but I wasn’t sure that I would be able to speak clearly. But that wasn’t really why I was turning pink and getting way too warm.

The teacher had just outted me. Although I had never really been in (at least not since high school) I also didn’t talk about my sexual orientation or family life openly. Not yet anyway. I was too new. I had only been at city college for two months, off the reservation for a year and wasn’t sure how much I wanted to say.Even though this was a class about serving LGBT families in preschools I wasn’t really comfortable yet. I’d been hurt too many times by so many people that I didn’t know how much was safe to say. I had told this instructor my information in another class as part of an activity,not this class. And this particular instructor tends to be really loud. She can be heard in the back row when she’s making a “private” comment to someone in the first. Oh well, File that in the *it figures* files.

Worried that she would also out my medical status I tried for damage control. “Well, I am a parent. ” Not smooth,but hopefully anyone who had heard would think that’s all she had meant.Fortunately, it didn’t matter. The panel showed up.

As I got more comfortable I did speak more. The next week I talked about the difficulties of adoption for LGBT parents.I did an activity that changed paperwork in preschool programs to include all types of families,and even became more of an activist in my community. But I still felt a bit weird in that class. I would have eventually come out to the class on my own. But I would have prefered doing it on my terms. And the teacher (although we are friends now) still doesn’t realize that she outted me before I was ready.

Menu discussion at the cafe

The other day I was eating lunch at a cafe I go to a lot. There were two people at the table next to me discussing the menu. But they weren’t talking about the food. The guy was saying “why do they have to put it in your faces.” The Lady respondedĀ  with, “It’s not appropriate to shove you’re lifestyle at people.”n

Right away, my ears perked up. I hear comments like thisĀ  more times than I’d ever care to. So I did what I usually do. Asked them exactly what they meant, but having a rebuttal to whatever Anti-LGBT comment I expected. Except that’s not what I got.

“The menu. Look at it.It’s disgusting.”

So I looked. Now I’ve been to this cafe many times,but never really paid attention to it. It has a shirtless man with pants that are cut way to low and showing way too much standing next to a rainbow flag. And His pants line and belly button were eye level with either toddlers or kids in strollers.

She was right. It wasn’t appropriate. At least I don’t think it was. while adults wait for their coffee or stand in line, the kids can stare at this picture. I’m not sure that I would want to explain it to my three year old, and we live in an LGBTQ family.I can only imagine what its like for parents that aren’t.

So the three of us started talking. we decided that it really isn’t appropriate to have any guy on a menu posted that low, in bright colors where kids see it all the time. We also got into a discussion about how the LGBTQ community seems to be at odds with itself. On one hand, the ones of us who are trying to raise families and have the same rights as others are trying to prove we’re just like everyone else. Then there are the guys that seem to go out of their way to prove the stereotypes.

In the end, we decided that it was good that we had a dialogue instead of a shouting match, the way it so easily could have turned out. We all talked to the manager about it too. I told him that I had no problem with Pride, I just didn’t want to be represented by an R rated menu. He listened. Last week, there was a new menu with just the flag. and that menu had been moved to a place over the deli, where Its not in children’s faces. I also have some new people I talk to at the coffee shop.=)

So here’s the dialogue questions: Was the menu appropriate? Would you have said anything? would you have even talked to other people in the shop, who were complaining about the menu?did the manager do the right thing?

Tag Cloud

%d bloggers like this: